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About Digital Art / Artist Core Member Jarryd BrostromMale/Australia Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
10 Month Core Membership
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121 - We don't need no stinkin piper... by KaidokJ 121 - We don't need no stinkin piper... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 13 8
Literature
The Wall
I have built a wall. 
Formed from every doubt, fear and failure, it towers. 
Through cracks and crumbling mortar, a future promised,
but I cannot see a path beyond.
From horizon to horizon its breadth abounds,
forever fading in the vista but never truly absent. 
I cannot hope to scale it, or burrow deep beneath.
It stands before me, always.
As daylight fades, it taunts me and dawn’s touch brings no grace.
The sands of time tumble aimlessly,
as another day falls casualty to the war.
But today shall be its last. 
I have no weapons, there is no plan.
But in blood, sweat and tears, I will pay.
I refuse to be defeated by this soulbound wall.
It falls, this day and every day hereafter.
:iconKaidokJ:KaidokJ
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120 - Now with 20% more feigned innocence... by KaidokJ 120 - Now with 20% more feigned innocence... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 11 3 119 - Pictorial Evolution by KaidokJ 119 - Pictorial Evolution :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 24 19 118 - Get to stepping... by KaidokJ 118 - Get to stepping... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 13 5 117 - Beware, she knows Crab Ma Gra...nee by KaidokJ 117 - Beware, she knows Crab Ma Gra...nee :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 9 4 116 - What're you looking at, bloodbag? by KaidokJ 116 - What're you looking at, bloodbag? :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 12 4 115 - Do you even lift bro? by KaidokJ 115 - Do you even lift bro? :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 8 3 114 - I'm on the road again... by KaidokJ 114 - I'm on the road again... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 22 7 113 - This week its green, next week, who knows... by KaidokJ 113 - This week its green, next week, who knows... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 17 6 112 - Someone call for a firestarter? by KaidokJ 112 - Someone call for a firestarter? :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 22 11 111 - Franks wants me to claim this hole instead by KaidokJ 111 - Franks wants me to claim this hole instead :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 17 8
Literature
The Kevin Chronicle - Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen – Crikey! World’s Deadliest Llamas
Welcome back folks, I’m your llama, Kevin Llamason, and thanks for joining me on another episode of “All the Animals That Have Tried to Kill Me”. If you tuned in last week, you might remember that I only just managed to survive a close encounter with a mildly irate Madagascan pygmy elephant, and had it not been for my quick wits and superior liability insurance, this week’s show might not have been possible. In regards to last week, just for the sake of clarity, I’d like to say for the record that it is a perfectly acceptable social convention to wait 4 days before calling a girl back, also the threat of removing ones genitals through ones right nostril is not productive response to disappointment. It’s not like I’d lost her number, I would have found it eventually, but as I’m sure you’ll remember, it is very difficu
:iconKaidokJ:KaidokJ
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DS#110 - Gimme an F... by KaidokJ DS#110 - Gimme an F... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 14 3 DS#109 - I'm just gonna be hungry again in an hour by KaidokJ DS#109 - I'm just gonna be hungry again in an hour :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 15 8
Literature
The Kevin Chronicles - Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen – One Round of X-treme Llamas
Within the cutthroat, bare knuckle, spontaneous de-pantsing world of UMX, there is one llama who needs no introduction. Jeremy, from Camelid Fitness, met up with Kevin to ask the hard hitting, no holds barred, take no prisoners, go for the guts questions that every diehard, basement dwelling, hardcore, passive aggressive stalking, fanatical part-time enthusiast demands answers to. We have the overly graphic and often deeply disturbing hate mail to prove it.
---
Kevin, nice weather, don’t you think?
Of course I think. What kind of question is that? Are you implying that I don’t think, because 3 of my 4 mental agility coaches have assured me that I do in fact think, and I won’t have some jumped up excuse for an “investigative journalist” come in here and accuse me of not thinking. How dare you!
Right. Moving on. What can you tell me ab
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KaidokJ
Jarryd Brostrom
Artist | Digital Art
Australia
STOP! WARNING – Random Silliness Ahead.
I accept no responsibility for humor related injuries and/or loss of intelligence. :D

Have you ever had one of those days that completely changed your life, freed your mind and fundamentally defined who you are as a woman? No, me neither, probably because of the man parts. One time I got close, though. I had a deeply meaningful conversation with a world famous spiritual guru who opened my eyes to the universe, eternity and the meaning of life, but it’s not really the same is it. Admittedly this event is fairly insignificant within the context of my life story, but it’s just been playing on my mind recently. Hormones probably. I’ve been taking prescription alligator hormones just for kicks, and I’ve found it makes me a little nostalgic. Anyway, if you want to get to the meat of my life, I’ll just get out of your way so you can reach the buffet table. But for everyone else, I will start at the middle.

From the young age of 63 I developed a hankering for the finer things in life. Lots of money, fancy cars, beautiful women, these things I could do without, but a good Liechtenstein Eel Parfait I just couldn’t deny myself any longer. So I abandoned my lucrative 6th decimal place job, gave notice to the kids, kissed my neighbor’s wife goodbye, and ran for my life to the nearest airport.

I never made it to Liechtenstein however. There was a plane crash. My plane. And I know it crashed because I saw it on the news, while being detained by airport security. People make jokes about TSA but they really saved my bacon. True, they ate it while I was detained, but if they hadn’t saved it in the first place, it would have been lost somewhere in the Himalayas. And everyone knows, Sherpas just don’t appreciate good Canadian bacon.

So after I was finally released on probation I returned home, my dream in tatters, my position filled by an automated answering machine, and bacon-less. I didn’t know what to do. Without my bacon I didn’t think I could go on. I just didn’t feel like living anymore. Thankfully, I didn’t have to. As it turned out, the TSA never filed my detainment with their superiors, so as far as the government was concerned I had boarded the plane currently playing 52 pick-up somewhere in Eastern Europe. According to public record, I was dead.

Not being one to dwell on life’s little challenges I decided to explore my options as a member of the Grateful Dead. However, since I was never very musical, and I didn’t actually know anyone in the band, I was soon discovered and thrown from the tour bus somewhere in Nevada. Which actually turned out to be a lucky break because Las Vegas was in Nevada. I’d always wanted to go, but had never had the weasels. Of course, the only thing I knew about Las Vegas was that it was somewhere in Nevada, but I figured that was enough to go on.

So after spending 4 years wandering around the desert, living off the land, the sky, and the harvest from an illegal marijuana farm, I finally discovered the fabled location of the Great City of Vegas. Unfortunately by the time I actually got there, it was closed. Renovations apparently. But it was probably for the best. I’d already spent all my weasels on a lifetime supply of candy corn not two days previous. What can I say, I’ve always been an impulse shopper.

Like this one time, on Ebay, I had the opportunity to purchase the second string line up for the St. Louis Rams, and even though I only had half of what they were offering, I rushed down to the local loan shark and took out a sizable advance. Unfortunately by the time I got back, the auction had closed, but I did have enough for a mated pair of Alaskan circus hamsters, so I figured that was nearly as good. Boy was I wrong. Those little bastards bit off my left eyebrow, chewed through the crotch of every pair of pants I owned, and completely destroyed my credit history. But as luck would have it, the loan shark was a big fan of specialty rodents and agreed to take them in exchange for my kneecaps. A fair trade if ever I made one.

Now in case you are reading this and come to the conclusion that I have led a charmed life you couldn’t be more wrong. This all happened before I really hit my stride as walking disaster area. Why I look back at these times as the true golden years that they were. But don’t despair for me. It’s just as my second cousin, Arnold’s pappy used to say to him, “Margaret, no man is going to want you. You’ve got a face like a mule’s arse.” Wise words. True too, Arnold never did find a man.

Also,
Llama Stamp by grovyle-n-wolfluvr
And you also get a free bit of random silliness for your trouble. :D
Interests
So I got tagged by Mrs-Elizabeth 

I normally never do these things. Every time I see them I get PTST flashbacks to those chain-letters from high school, but since I've been "indisposed" for so long, I figured I owed you people something mildly entertaining, and if it means I have to suffer through it, I consider it part of my Karmic debt for sodding off. So here it is, 

1. If you could be any comic character, superhero, villain, side kick or miscellaneous what/who would it be?
    - I would totally be the miscellaneous one. In fact they would call me Miscellaneous Man, and reporters everywhere would break into tears at mere mention of my mediocre deeds, mainly because my name       would be so hard to spell.

2. Favorite Color
     - Wenge. The color itself doesn't do much for me, in fact I doubt it does much for anyone, and if they tell it does, they're lying. But with a name like Wenge, how could it not be my favorite.

3. How long have you been interested in creating art (not DA account, but in general)
     - Art was never going to be my thing. I liked to draw as a kid, and there was some talent, I suppose, but I always enjoyed writing more (who would have guessed that?). But in the past eight years or so, I          made a shift back to drawing, and while the journey so far has been somewhat of a torturous rorschach test, I wouldn't have become the crazed weirdo I am today. 

4. Last thing I googled?
     - How to spell "rorschach" 

5. Favorite Time of Day
     - 11 Milliseconds past, 4:37:32 PM

6. Favorite Season(ing)
     - I'm quite partial to salt, actually, but I've been known to enjoy the occasional partaking of pepper

7. Age when you first kissed someone
     - I'm not really sure, my memory is a little spotty (there's stripes too). I remember some lips and then a hand and then waking up in a hospital 3 years later.

8. Age when you had your first heart break
     - I don't understand this obsession with age, suffice to say that it happened and that my cardiologist has assured me that the new one should be good for at least 100,000 miles. 

9. If you could live anywhere in time and space where would it be (doesn't have to be real)
     - I would live in the time between 4:37:32.1005 PM and 4:37:32.11 PM.

10. Favorite drink
     - I don't really have a favorite drink, I mainly drink water. But when I'm not drinking water, I only ever drink CRUSHED!(tm), a bittersweet, infinitely satisfying beverage made from the tears of your                  enemies, collected by rehabilitated ex-junkie tooth fairies and then brewed for 3 non consecutive full moons until it naturally turns a vibrant wenge color. "CRUSHED!(tm), when winning isn't satisfying              enough!"   

-TAG-
By all means, don't feel obliged to do this, but for those that are interested...

Journal History

Activity


I'm back, britches. Which is exactly what I tell my trousers every morning, before putting them on. They seem about as excited about the prospect as I'm sure all you guys are. Anyway, in case you missed the journal entry, I'm back and I brought my wackiness back with me. :D

Comments


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:iconaylishliane:
Aylishliane Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2017  Student Photographer
Would say i regret watching you but your art work is great it's that reason why i watched you in the first place.

Do you like my photographs? I'm sort pf a general photographer trying to specialize in nature and macro. I never have time to upload my work. Hoping that will change.
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2017   Digital Artist
I'm sorry to hear that you regret the choice, but I totally understand. I just hope that given time I can convince you that it was worth the effort.

And yes, you have some very nice photos in there. You seem to have developed a strong sense of balance and composition, particularly in you more recent stuff. The mushroom and the rock formation shots really stand out and I particularly like the farmyard photos too.
Reply
:iconaylishliane:
Aylishliane Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2017  Student Photographer
I don't regret I was just answering you and thanks for the critical advice.
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2017   Digital Artist
Oh, my bad. Must have misread. Either way, you're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconforcedlactationlover:
Forcedlactationlover Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday, and may there be many happy returns of the day!  Party Have your cake and eat it too 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2017   Digital Artist
Thanks, I appreciate the sentiment, even if I've never understood the statement.
What are people returning to me? I mean, sure, I've given away a lot of weird things, but why, of all days, would they choose to return them on my birthday?
Plus, it's kind of inconsiderate. I have 3 days every 4th half moon during the autumnal equinox set aside specifically for the return of unwanted crap. How hard is it to observe the assigned office hours, I ask you?
Anyway, thanks again.
And sorry for the long, long, long, period of peace, prosperity and general well being you've experienced in my absence. I'm back now, so things should get back to normal. :P 
Reply
:iconkatyscene:
KatyScene Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Ello, Abbey burfdey! I'm sorry this is so late, I was at Snow Camp this weekend...
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2017   Digital Artist
I can't believe you waited this long to wish me a happy birthday. How rude!
You'd think I'd completely disappeared off the face of the planet and had been ignoring everyone who wrote to me for an indeterminable amount of time...
Oh wait, I think I kind of did that. :|
Sorry about that. I think we can say we both made mistakes and more on. :P
And thanks. :D
Reply
:iconflonfy:
Flonfy Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2017   Digital Artist
Thank you.
If only I'd gotten you something for the occasion. Oh well, maybe next year. :P
Sorry for going A Wall. Going A Floor just doesn't have the same impact.
Reply
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